Kiss of Glass
by Falaik
Summary: Sakura has grown up and things start to change, specially relationships. Now Sakura is with Syaoran, but everything may not be as perfect as it seems.Yue realize this as he sees and lives with her all the changes in her life. Sakura/Yue. Now you know I su
1. Default Chapter

Hey, I´m new around here and this is my first ficcie, so please be gentle *pleaaasseeeee* *Big Round Starry Eyes* I hope you all like it, I´ll try my very best to make this story good. I should warn you that English is not my mother language and therefore there might be some errors in the grammar or wording in the fic. Feel free to point the out, it would help me to be better ^^;  
Disclaimer: I don´t own anything in this universe except my soul and a some books. Please don´t sue me.  
Kiss of Glass  
  
Prologue: Yue´s thoughts  
  
She´d grown into such a beautiful creature.  
  
Trough time I grew fonder of her to the point of falling in love without even realizing it. I know it is utterly wrong. She has already someone to love who loves her back just as much, and she´s happy with how things are now. That boy, Syaoran, really cares for her deeply and make his very best to keep her safe and contented, taking great amount of effort to make life pleasant to the tiniest detail. He knows very well she was worth it, and didn´t intend to let her go. Ever. And I can´t really blame him for that.  
  
Besides that, I´m not even human, nor mortal. I´ve seen so many people dear to me grow older and die that I found myself detaching from people more and more as time passed, trying not to care because I didn´t want to mourn anymore, because they were gone ( at least as I knew and cared for them) but the hurt inside hadn´t, and it has not diminished till then.  
  
I must say I almost succeeded. I was so stoic and insensitive for a long time, I didn´t feel pain, empathy, compassion, hatred, whatsoever anymore. I just existed without being involved in existence itself. But then she came into my life and gave me a reason to be again.  
  
When I look at her I understand that it could never be different. She´s simply breathtaking. Lithe, petite body, long chestnut hair, amazing emerald eyes; soft, warm smile. But above all, what draws me more to her is the light she posses within, shining so pure that it transforms everything and everyone she touches into their most true, dignified selves, just as she did with me. All in her is so hauntingly beautiful and yet.So fragile.  
  
Sometimes I´m so afraid for her; she´s always been optimistic and kind, her lips grazed with a perpetual smile, never knowing what it´s like to be alone and loveless in this world for the people around her, me included, kept her living in a crystal dome where everything is how it´s supposed to be and there are never shadows or clouds tainting the flawlessness of her world. She´s the perfect victim, even for me. I shudder from both pleasure and utter fear at the mere possibility of being near her because I could lose my self control and tell her I love her.  
  
I´m also scared that if I kiss her I might break her. Her perfect world. The place I hold in her life and the image of me she has in her mind.  
  
And I don´t want that to happen. I couldn´t live without her. Not anymore. 


	2. Yue´s vigil

Hey!!! This is me again. I appreciate very much the reviews I got from the prologue. People, thank you sooooo much!!!! * hugs * It really got this lazy bum to work in this humble little first chapter, I hope you like it as well. Again, and wording or grammar error please point it out to me, I´m learning English while writing this. Thank you for taking you precious time in reading this.  
  
Diclaimer: I´m broke. I don´t own anything, except my own soul, at least until I die.  
Kiss of Glass  
  
Chapter one: Yue´s vigil  
  
The rooftop is my favorite place to muse, because I get a quiet place to do so and at the same time, the beautiful sight of the city in the last hours of the night, a great combination of elements that somewhat subdues the inner turmoil I´m in now, tough it´s not a bad one. I´m just surprised with the turn of events of tonight, that´s all. So that´s why I just stand here, watching without truly seeing the street lights fading in the dawn, reminiscing.  
  
* * *  
  
I sat very still, using the night as my cover up, feeling the coolness of the air tingling on my skin as I peered into my beloved´s bedroom. I was hidden among the branches of that tree that stands near her window, like every other night, just to watch her sleep and be the unnoticed guardian of her dreams.  
  
She was currently writing on her diary, probably about stuff she did with Syaoran or the new dresses Tomoyo kept doing for her even now. Talk about persistence. Well, the bottom line was that whatever she wrote on it, it would never be about me. Why would she, if I was so cold and distant to her? I sighed. This really wasn´t the best moment to ponder such things, I would get to do that later. Now I didn´t want to think about how out of reach she is to me, how my frustration grows day to day because the place I want to fill in her life is already taken. I have to keep reminding myself all this constantly as my mind is always trying to shake off that fact, suspending itself between reality and fantasy, searching for a way to change the first to make it more like the latter. I can´t help it, to feel this way, despite the selfishness on it. But there´s no way either I´d shatter her happiness just for this stupid dream I have of us togheter.  
  
Sakura, oblivious as she was of my dark thoughts as well as my presence, kept on writing for a while longer, leaning in her desk and occasionally bringing her left hand to her brow to keep her bangs out of her eyes.  
  
I closed my own, taking a sharp breath and enjoying the peace of this moment before it would go away, she was but a few feet away from me and we were alone. There were few times we were alone and she´d be awake.. When I opened my eyes again, Sakura was closing the little book, proceeding afterwards to replace it in its hiding spot before staring out of the window, deep in thought. From the expression on her face I could tell something was off tonight.  
  
As I was too immersed in my impressions pondering why there was that hint of melancholy in her eyes I failed to grasp the fact that she was walking towards the window until I heard the sound of it being opened, and the sound of her voice.  
  
".Yue?"  
  
* * *  
  
Yes, she called me. In fact, she knew I was there from the beginning, as she said so later. So now, I´ll go to Yukito´s house to get some rest and for the first time in decades I´ll have actually something to dream about. I can feel myself smiling. Perhaps. 


	3. As told By Sakura

Hello!!! Long time no see. I´m really really REALLY sorry for not uptdating in all this time. I hope you can forgive me. But here it is, the next chapter, hopefully you won´t feel disappointed. Thank you again to all of you, review or not, for reading this. I appreciate it very much. As always, I don´t own Card Captor Sakura, wonderful CLAMP does. Maybe in the next lifetime..  
  
Kiss of Glass As told by Sakura  
  
"...Yue?"  
  
I finally said after a long period of indecision. I didn´t know if I wanted to break the illusion he had that I didn´t realize his presence outside my window every night. I was afraid that if he found out that I knew all the time, he would get embarrassed and akward about it and wouldn´t return afterwards. So I kept this knowledge to myself and pretended he wasn´t here, despite of the guilt I felt for ignoring him. It felt so good having someone watching for you even if you´re asleep, he´s really a great guardian. But if there is a person I couln´t figure out nor approach in friendly terms in all my years of life, it´s gotta be him. I don´t understand why he do this every night but still doesn´t let me treat him as a friend. But tonight, tonight I just wanted to talk to someone other than Syaoran or Tomoyo, the first one because the dilemma was more or less about him, and Tomoyo would be partial about it and wouldn´t give me a real third party point of view. I knew that something was changing inside of me, but couldn´t tell exactly what, maybe Yue could help me figure it out.  
  
I almost giggled as he stiffened on his hiding spot, and came to me swiftly, but with slightly widened eyes that held an uncanny resemblance of those of a deer caught in the headlights, the most exuberant display of expression I had seen on him since I met him seven years ago.  
  
" Hey, you wanna come in?"  
  
"..."  
  
" Please?"  
  
He blinked his surprise away but still had a slightly dazed look to him.  
  
"...I-If you insist..."  
  
Good. At least he was talking to me. Once he was inside I knew I could make him feel more confortable so he wouldn´t avoid me later.  
  
He got inside my bedroom and I inmediately closed the window behind him, wich seemed to make him a little unconfortable. I guided him towards my desk and he took a seat.  
  
" There is something you would like to talk me about, Mistress?" He said, raising his delicate eyebrow.  
  
" Actually, there is. It isn´t exactly about the Sakura Cards or anything like it, just normal stuff. You know, we hardly talk to each other outside our duties and I just wanted to let you know that I consider you a friend, so we actually relating as such wouldn´t be that bad, at least for me. Would it for you?"  
  
Now I had to admit I felt a tad nervous, he was ever so distant so I wasn´t sure how´d he react. I wished now I wasn´t so forward with words. I braced myself for what was coming next.  
  
" No, it certainly wouln´t" I couldn´t believe my ears, neither my eyes. Did he said what I think he said? Did I really see a small, almost unpercepitble smile cross his features? I looked at him, a grin forming in my lips as I hugged him. When I realized what I was doing, I blushed and pulled away. He was downcast but still I could see a light pink hue grazing his cheeks. Suddenly I felt the urge to make him do that again. He was beautiful in his own right , but I discovered that when he was blushing , even as slightly as this, he was so cute, like a little child. But for our newborn bond of real friendship´s sake, I didn´t.  
  
We both fell in an uncomfortable silence. Where to start? How do I break the ice? My eyes wandered around the room as it was the first time I saw it. I couldn´t count on him starting the conversation and his stare was kinda unnerving me, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.  
  
" So, um.What have you been doing lately?" Ooooh Sakura that was a good one! ..Baka.  
  
"Nothing much, the usual tasks of a guardian"  
  
"." He hesitated "How about you?"  
  
" Well, school´s been great. We get to do all this projects on almost every subject, they provide a lot of work, but it´s fun, specially with Tomoyo around. You know how she is." He just nodded.  
  
" Lately, she´s been hanging around my brother a bit too much, I guess it´s that natural curiosity of hers kicking in. After all, I admit being a doctor must be pretty cool." I realized what I just said.Darn thongue of mine, I swear it has a mind of itself. "Umm, sorry" Great, now I´m acting like an embarrassed child, with the rubbing the back of my head thing and all. I look at him, expecting his reaction.  
  
"Do not worry, Sakura, I´m not Yukito. You can speak freely of anything at all." I sigh inwardly. Yes, I know you´re not Yukito, dear Yue, that´s what´s making this so difficult. Talking to Yukito seems so natural, with you I cannot do that, I feel somewhat uneasy around you. Oh, I´m sure I can work that out, but in the way this conversation is being carried, I can tell it´s gonna take time.  
  
It seems I spaced out by the way he´s currently staring at me.  
  
" By the way, how is he?" I say suddenly. He appears to be a tad taken aback, for five seconds. Then his cool voice reachs my ears.  
  
" He´s okay, it´s been six months since all that, after all."  
  
After that, I slightly relaxed. This was going better than I first tought. I was so focused on what I was thinking at the time, that I barely caught what Yue said.  
  
" I know there´s something bothering you. Mind to share it with me?"  
  
" Sorry, What? " I must´ve misheard, yep,yep, that´s it.  
  
" I said, I know for a fact something´s bothering you. You´re wringling that piece of paper so much it doesn´t seem as one anymore."  
  
"Oh!! Hehe." -I stuttered clumsyly some excuses that he obviously didn´t buy not even for a second. -"Yeah." I chose this moment to let go of the former page of my diary, which tumbled a few times till it hit the floor. Yue picked it up with a silent question in his eyes, and since I nodded my consent, he struggled to make the sheet straight again so he could read it´s contents. As he did so, an astonished look crept to his face and remained as he stared at me in shock. I could tell he was involuntarily speechless for the first time since we met.  
  
".Is this true, Sakura? Do you really feel this way?"  
  
( I won´t rush the relationship, so don´t expect a confession in a long, long time ^^)  
  
I nodded again, this time feeling uneasy.  
  
" It´s written in a very blunt way, and I´m not sure at all, but that sort of happened today. I kissed Syaoran goodnight after our date, and it didn´t feel the same as always. Something´s stirring inside of me and putting aside stuff I tought the most important. So weird, huh?" There. I said one half of my little dilemma/ mystery. The other part I wasn´t so willing to say, not right away, at least. Yue-chan is looking at me queerly and I´m starting to shift under his gaze. I wish Clow gave me mind-reading powers or whatever, I really could use ´em right now. *sigh* Why? Why I had to make him my confidant out of all people? I should be figuring HIM out, not trying to figure out this mess with him because now I´ll have two puzzles to solve at the same time. Ooooh I´m getting a headache.  
  
By then the clock disclosed that five minutes have passed since either of us spoke. Just as this was passing trough my mind, I heard his voice.  
  
" So, that´s it? You should wait more time, it might be just a bad day, or anything else that unbalanced you but because of that, transitory. Don´t jump into any kind of conclusions right away, you could regret it later. I cannot give you a more specific advise until I know more about it. " -Wooow, that must be the longer sentence he ever said to me-I smiled a bit. But once again, my train of toughts was interrupted.  
  
" I´m leaving. The night is getting old and you do have school tomorrow. I wish you have a good night and better dreams."  
  
When he was in front of the window he turned around, a shadow of playfulness crossing his eyes for a brief instant.  
  
" Did you knew, all this time, I was wathing for you by the window at night?" It was my turn to blush.  
  
" I tought so."  
  
And with that, he left. 


End file.
